


Cry Wolf

by Hewlett



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, M/M, Sad Ending, Short, Straight up depressing homie, Trope Subversion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 08:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18117059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hewlett/pseuds/Hewlett
Summary: "I, er.. I wanted you here, because.." Basch's hard green eyes were still boring into Gilbert, who didn't have the nerve to even return the gaze. The albino stared at his drink as he continued, "Because i wanted to apologize, first of all.. for the last few weeks.." That certainly helped Gilbert's case, Basch once again calming some, and blinking. He didn't expect an apology, but then again, he wouldn't be able to expect what was coming next.Gilbert, having desperately tried to work up the courage to confess his feelings to Basch, feelings which still confuse and mystify him, finds that his goofy antics and overbearing persona have come back around to bite him.





	1. The Quiet Din

Gilbert had been sitting at the bar, alone, for two hours. The bar was full, make no mistake,but Gilbert sat alone, accompanied by the soft tones of a too-quiet radio playing under the conversations of patrons, musing quietly at how cigarette smoke hung thick in the air and how voices rose, crescendoed, and fell again into the cacophony. He had spent that two hours nursing as many tall stein glasses as he could drink in his steady yet reasonable pace, working over one very obtuse feeling, that being the feeling of a terrible anxiety eating away at him from within. He wanted to spend this time growing courage, but it just made him feel more meek.

Looking back, he almost regretted this whole train-wreck, and if he could have gone back at that moment, he would have smacked the phone right out of his own hands. Paying an almost ashamed glance to the windows to his right, sheets of rain battered the glass, along with the street and the occasional car passing by. Orange-yellow lights gave the otherwise dark landscape outside a rather muted, sullen, brown hue. 'Gilbert, you fucking idiot,' he groaned to himself, looking away again after taking a hearty swig. 'Of all the days to get drunk and sappy, you pick this one.'

Gilbert glanced at the clock above the barkeep, feigning to nobody to himself that he couldn't be bothered with even the passing of time, cool as a cucumber. Except he very much wasn't, and he could have broken out in a sweat.

 **8:00 PM.** In 30 minutes, his 'plus one' would be here.

The albino took what few, precious moments he had left to reminisce on the events that thrust him here.

_It all started with that stupid fluttering! Gilbert couldn't place a date, or even a reason, as much as he would have liked to, but all he knew is that over the last month, a powerful, near suffocating fluttering feeling gripped him from inside his chest, restricted his breathing, and made him pause for thought. For the longest time, he was completely clueless as to why, so much so that he seriously considered going for a doctor's visit._

**8:09 PM.**

_He was about to write himself off for heart murmurs, or some other 'Old person' affliction that would leave him dead 20 years sooner than expected. In all honesty, that probably would have been easier, and all at once less confusing. He realized it on a much calmer spring day than this, during an intermission where Gilbert blandly scanned the world around him with no real goal or aim, simply perceiving, absorbing, and forgetting, all in that order._

**8:17 PM.**

_His eyes brushed across the somewhat dim but ever innocent and in many ways endearing Feliciano. His eyes, intense in their gorgeous ruby, danced up and down Elizabeta's frame, familiar to him. Another small turn, and an all at once amused yet sympathetic look was cast at Matthew, the quiet Canadian boy lost in crowds. Still, this feeling buzzed up and down Gilbert's spine. It made his hands itch and sweat, and dried out his mouth._

**8:26 PM.**

_It was suddenly clearer and more confused, even alarming, when that feeling flared without warning. It caught Gilbert completely off guard, his heart pounding out of his chest and his breath suddenly leaving him, his eyes rested on the previously unassuming figure of--_

**8:30 PM.**

As soon as Gilbert realized the time, he heard the sound of the bar door opening. He didn't even have to look to know, and the fact that it was so perfect made him grin dumbly, looking down into his glass and shaking his head.

Basch Zwingli, no matter the occasion, was punctual to a fault.


	2. The Innocent Chatter

Basch, closing his umbrella and shaking his head, shuffled awkwardly towards where he thought the bar was. This was rather odd.

The last time he had gone out drinking with his coworkers was months ago. He enjoyed his time, all in all, despite some frantic and chaotic episodes, Basch left with a slight buzz and no bad feelings, which was far more than he could have hoped for. That last time they had gone anywhere it was an organized, straightforward affair at first. They all set time aside, arrived on a specific Saturday on a specific month to just put their feet up. Unsurprisingly, it all went awry, and with the likes of Francis attending it was only a shock to anyone that it went as well as it did, for as long as it did.

Basch genuinely looked back on that occasion as a good time, whether he would dare admit it aloud or not, so when Gilbert texted a mere half hour ago, inviting Basch personally to a bar to do it all again, Basch gave it little thought before agreeing. As much of a hermit as he was, a drink among acquaintances wasn't below Basch, and besides, it felt good to get out once in a blue moon.

That was all well and good, but what surprised him is that he didn't recognize a single voice in this crowd. In the entire room, with clinking glasses and at times hushed and at other times boisterous laughter, he couldn't single out a single familiar voice. It was hard to lose Ludwig's familiar baritone in a crowd, or the shockingly grating laughter of Alfred. Was he late?

Finding that tuft of white hair at the bar, Basch immediately hastened over to Gilbert. OK, so he recognized  _one_ person here, Gilbert, characteristically flanked on all sides by empty steins. Wait, so how long had he been here? "Er, hello, Gilbert." Basch hummed in a typical monotone. It seemed to rouse Gilbert from a daze, even moreso when Basch sat down beside him. The blonde didn't wait for Gilbert to reply. "Where is everyone else?"

There was a pause, not even a second passed where neither of them made a sound. It lasted for ages. "Ah, well, it was kind of on short notice!" Gilbert erupted, as if overcompensating for the pause. It felt wildly unnatural. "Well, they ended up cancelling, so.. They aren't here." That same loud and faux-confident tone carried though at the beginning, but fell by the wayside for something a bit more revealing, trailing off into a near murmur. Basch, in turn, nodded slowly, weighing his options. Gilbert seemed as though he fully intended Basch to stick around, and there was really no socially acceptable way to just leave now, especially since he had sat dow--

"Take your jacket off, here." Gilbert started again, interrupting Basch's thoughts by waving his glass to the barkeep, in front of Basch's face. It only took a few seconds for the man to arrive again with another tall stein, and place it down on the counter. Gilbert quickly slid it over to the Swiss man, who blinked dumbly for a moment before taking off his coat.

Basch was not a psycologist, indeed he wasn't good at reading most people, but there was something glaringly wrong with Gilbert. It didn't take a professional to understand how strange this all was. Not just today, but the last few weeks. Yes, Gilbert had been acting strangely for awhile now, especially during assemblies at work where Gilbert would, (rather peculiarly, considering they didn't interact too terribly often,) strike up conversations, or interact with Basch for the sole purpose of getting under his skin.

One day, it was stupid, childish things like trying to pull Basch's chair out from under him every single time he went to sit. Another day, Basch would be the recipient of multiple pokes in the ribs, which drove him to blinding fury at the fact that these jabs would always make him buckle and gasp, much to Gilbert's satisfaction. On one day in particular, Gilbert had managed to convince Basch, while they were both standing in the rain, that the doors to their meeting hall were locked, and that he would be  _right back_ with the key. 10 minutes later, Basch had Gilbert's shirt balled into a fist, screaming in his face while two secretaries desperately restrained him. He nearly smacked the teeth out of his mouth, and Basch took it so poorly that even Gilbert gave it a rest for the day afterward.

But, of course, it was just that one day.

The two remained silent for a moment, before Gilbert looked to Basch, back at the bar, at his drink, and Basch again. Basch, wildly confused, assumed he was drunk. Another pause lingered before Gilbert spoke again, now sounding more like himself. "Well, it's good you came!" he mused, fixing his posture and holding up his stein. "We're Germanic's after all, aren't we? We have to stick together, right?" Basch nodded, humming his agreement. That in itself could have been a whole discussion, mainly one about, 'If we're sticking together, why have you been an asshole for two weeks,' but the blonde bit his tongue, and instead held up his own glass with a clenched fist around the handle. He had decided he would stay for one glass and leave, so it wasn't worth getting in some terrible argument with a drunk.

The two glasses clinked together, Gilbert sporting a toothy grin as if he had completely forgotten the last 5 minutes of awkward silence. "Prost!" he announced, looking straight at Basch, almost  _into_ Basch. "Prost, Gilbert." the Swiss man returned, not nearly as energetic or electric as the other man. They both took their mandatory gulp of that bitter nectar and sat, again, waiting for nothing but the other's voice. 

This time Basch broke the silence, looking Gilbert up and down. "How long have you been here, then?" He pointed to the multiple steins surrounding Gilbert, who also looked at them and almost seemed to inhale sharply. "Ah, well, er.." Another pause. Basch pressed his lips together and furrowed his brows, sighing loudly. "Gilbert, are you alright?" He finally groaned, more annoyed than nurturing. He wasn't going to keep up the facade for long, and Gilbert wasn't helping with his strange behaviour. Was was odd, though, was that Gilbert almost looked like a kicked puppy. "I'm fine.. I-I didn't hear you, i just--" The albino started, turning to look at the other. "Oh, bullshit." Basch interrupted, stopping Gilbert dead in his tracks, head sitting half turned and staring almost somberly into the middle distance.

"Was anyone even supposed to show up here?" The blonde sighed, tone low ans unimpressed. Basch sounded like he usually did when he was about to get angry, like a predator on the trail of its prey. He already had it made up in his mind what had happened, he just wanted to hear it from Gilbert's mouth. Gilbert, unknowingly, deprived Basch of even that, solemnly shaking his head like a child caught stealing. "Let me explain..er.." Gilbert once again made to speak but couldn't. 

"Save it," Basch finally spat, taking one last sip before standing. "I know why you dragged me here, Gilbert." He almost sounded sullen, standing up with jacket in hand, moving past Gilbert's drained, deteriorating expression of shock and confusion. 

 


	3. The Ceaseless Thumping

Gilbert's face was awash with pure terror. His eyes were wide open, darting up and down Basch as if the more he moved them, the better things would go. His mouth hung slightly ajar, and his breath hitched. 'He can't know. He couldn't, not yet! God damn it, why won't my heart stop thudding like this?!' The last 10 minutes had gone horribly, sure, and Gilbert found the words in his throat melt and die out before he could speak them, but he had no idea why Basch was flying off the handle already. Gilbert had done this song and dance before, with other people throughout his life, so why was it so hard now?

Yanking his jacket over his shoulders, Basch folded his arms across his chest and clenched his teeth, looking at Gilbert with a seething glare. "Well, hurry up then! You managed to fool me into coming here." Gilbert blinked in his face, mouth moving as if to speak but saying nothing. Eventually, he managed to choke out a meek, "What?" This made the Swiss man sigh violently, clenching his hands again and placing both of them on his hips. Nothing had really happened, but already, Basch was fuming.

"Do i really have to spell it out to you?" Gilbert said nothing. Basch looked as though he was ready to scream. "You brought me here just to give you a ride home because you're hammered, and you made up this convoluted story about how everyone was here just to fool me. Getting under my skin, again! You've been doing this for weeks, now, Gilbert, this is more than enough!" Gilbert, again, blinked, shaking his head slowly and stuttering into his next sentence.

On one hand, getting put on blast now of all times sucked, sure, but he wasn't ruined, not yet. "N-no, Basch, I don't want a ride! Er, no, no, just wait!" Gilbert, somewhat pathetically, motioned for Basch to take his original seat. He didn't budge.

"Please? Just let me explain.. Please."

Gilbert hated how pathetic he sounded, how soft his tone was, but he could see Basch's expression soften, the grip he had on his own hips loosened slightly, and with great reluctance he walked back to his seat and took his place. He stared expectantly at Gilbert, arms folded again and clearing his throat, a sound which made Gilbert shiver. He was still expectant, which meant Gilbert wasn't off the hook yet.

"I, er.. I wanted you here, because.." Basch's hard green eyes were still boring into Gilbert, who didn't have the nerve to even return the gaze. The albino stared at his drink as he continued, "Because i wanted to apologize, first of all.. for the last few weeks.." That certainly helped Gilbert's case, Basch once again calming some, and blinking. He didn't expect an apology, but then again, he wouldn't be able to expect what was coming next. "I wanted to explain myself, because.. Ah, well, i did those things because I just.. wanted to talk, with you.."

Basch squinted. He said nothing, but even that small reaction put Gilbert off balance.

"And, i wanted to talk with you because.. Well," Gilbert could have yanked his hair out. It felt like his heart was beating a mile a minute while his lungs failed. Is that what it felt like to suffocate? And god, it was hot in here! And it was hot, so unbearably hot, he genuinely wondered how Basch's penetrating gaze produced that much heat.

This was pathetic, truly, Gilbert cursed himself inwardly. 'You're better than this! Speak, you fucking fool!' Gilbert interrupted himself by taking one last swig of his drink, and looking at Basch with an all at once fed up expression, one that hid a level of sincerity that Gilbert thought himself incapable of. "I just.. I like you, Basch, i do."

Basch blinked. "Oh, well, er, OK, Gilbert." He looked brutally uncomfortable. "If that's how you, er.. express your friendship, then.. Well, i didn't know." Basch sounded curt at the end of his sentence, reaching again for his stein. Gilbert wanted to grab him by the collar and yell. That Swiss moron, how could he not see it yet? "No, Basch." Gilbert almost snarled, so forceful and raw with emotion that it made Basch pause again.

"I mean, I..  _ **I like you.**_ "


	4. The Consuming Silence

Basch's expression was hard to place. His face was scrunched up in a familiar anger, but something in his eyes, burning with a confused intensity said otherwise. There was a long, long span of time where neither of them spoke, Gilbert staring hopefully and miserably at the shorter man. The longer that span of time went on, the more dejected the albino looked, turning back towards his drink with a slow, shaky breath. It was the only noise either of them heard in that crowded building.

"I'm sorry--"

"Just-... don't.."

Gilbert felt the blood flowing through his veins becoming thick and soupy. He was interrupted just as fast as he started by Basch, speaking shortly and curtly. His tone was one Gilbert had never heard before, and as soon as he heard him, he just wanted to dissappear. Part of him wanted to scream in a fit of blind rage, another wanted to elaborate further, and a third just wanted to curl up into a ball and sob. God, what an embarassing mess this all became.

"This is a cruel joke, Gilbert.." Basch moaned, lines dripping with a seething rage not expressed in tone or inflection. This automatically sent a sharp shock throughout Gilbert's body, he felt his face flush with heat and for the first time tonight, words wanted to erupt out of his mouth. "No, it isn't! I swear--" But again, the world seemed to stop as Basch spoke up again. "Shut up!" Basch finally snapped, raising his voice and turning his head to glare furiously at Gilbert. The albino, in turn, didn't dare speak, biting his tongue until it was sore. "You've been embarassing me, and-and harrassing me for weeks, now, and all of a sudden you're telling the truth?" 

Unexpectedly, Basch lowered his head, resting his elbows on the bar and revealing the fact that his body was, in fact, extremely tense. The blonde swallowed hard, and Gilbert realized that he wasn't just angry, he was  _hurt._ "You're just playing another elaborate joke on me.." He took in a short, shaky breath, looking down at the floor, saying nothing. Gilbert croaked back to life, offering a hand. "I'll prove it." His hand, with long, spindly fingers, moved to touch Basch. As soon as any form of contact was made, a light, tentative touch against the man's shoulder, he recoiled violently. Basch was trembling, but why?

Basch's head shot up, lips pressed together and the closest hand to the bar was gripping it tightly. His expression showed a terrible vulnderability that Gilbert had never seen, one that made him feel such a terrible pain that he could only utter a miserable, tired death rattle, that being a low, breathy sigh. "Y-you don't.." Basch said curtly, his very tone quaking under the weight of this emotional stress. He saw Gilbert's mouth open to speak, and he immediately started talking again so he wouldn't have to hear it. "You  _wouldn't.._ "

Basch would never, ever admit it, but he desperately wanted to believe Gilbert. He never would say it, but his reaction, the way he shuddered under Gilbert's gaze, and how Gilbert, in turn, bit his tongue and felt that wordless shame and defeated feeling wash over him constantly under Basch's; They both knew what Basch wanted to say, how Basch desperately wanted to believe, and they both knew that he couldn't.

Gilbert suddenly thought, while staring at the other man and noting how every part of his figure looked as if he had ran a marathon, how he looked weighed down, really, as if weights were strapped to every joint, and recognized with great pain that he not only caused this, but deserved this. All that hiding he had given Basch, really made little sense on it's face, but that was Gilbert, through and through. That was how he showed his affection, schoolboy teasing and well-meaning pranks, all to see that object of his desire reduce down into it's most vulnderable parts. He recognized long ago that it could be cruel, but he enjoyed it so much, and never had he sought after someone that would take it so poorly, someone like Basch Zwingli.

"I mean...d-do you.." Basch stumbled over his words in his confused, vulnderable fury. Gilbert, knowingly, didn't even try to stop him. "Do you even see me as a person, Gilbert? Do you think that-.. that caring about me is a punchline you can use for a cheap laugh?" Saying the words aloud made them that much more disgusting, and Gilbert suddenly felt the sting of tears welling up in his eyes. He bowed his head and said nothing. 

What could he say? What was he supposed to say? The one way he truly felt, that feeling that Gilbert had come to resent, to ponder on, to finally embrace, was the one thing he couldn't voice. He couldn't bring himself to lie to make himself look better, and he couldn't work up the nerve to try and tell the truth again. He didn't blame Basch, really, but Gilbert had absolutely no clue what to say, or do, or how to feel. "It's not like that." He finally murmured, voice hoarse and weak. It was the truth, the god honest truth, the one he could put his soul and eternity behind, but he knew it didn't sound real. Not real enough, anyway. The albino couldn't bear to look at Basch again, his periphreal vision, seeing Basch's figure still facing him, noting how his one visible hand was balled tightly, so tightly the kuckles were white, told the whole story.

Another silence started, but was quickly ended by Basch, standing weakly to his feet, jacket in trembling hand. "Fuck you." Basch spat. The venom in those two words were enough to make Gilbert feel worse than any strike the Swiss man could deal. "I-I.. I don't know.. what I can say.." was the only pitiful offering he could make in his own defense. 

Basch left without another word.

Gilbert stayed, and shed a few pained, silent tears.

The streets, lined with puddles, reflected that dim, cold yellow, and the chill in the air ate Basch to the bone as he crawled back into his car, and headed home, alone. The city around him was oddly silent, and the lack of sound, the lack of feeling, the inanimate nature of it all made him all the more lonely. The concrete monoliths around him said nothing, but were oddly supportive in their silence. They would accompany Basch home in Gilbert's stead.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spent a few days on this, and to be completely honest i still don't like how it turned out, but that's the way writing goes. I spent enough time on it that i wanted to finish and publish it at the very least, but i'm very unsure if it turned out well. That being said, feedback and constructive criticism is appreciated! (Just be gentle.)


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